Sunday, January 5, 2014

The Top 10 Worst Movies of 2013!

I watch a lot of movies, its something I love to do, but unfortunately while doing this I come across many that are awful so I decided to do my list of the worst movies that I saw of 2013.

10. The Internship - There was a time when a movie starring Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson was a big deal. That time has passed. Their routine is old and dull now and neither seems to know how to play more than one role.

9. Jobs - I was looking forward to seeing the movie based on Steve Jobs' life until I heard Ashton Kutcher was playing him. Still, I decided to give it a try and my worst fears were confirmed, Ashton is not capable of playing dramatic roles. He tries to impersonate Jobs and worst yet the film doesn't focus on the products that brought Apple back to glory.

8. Kick-Ass 2 - Ultra-violent, this film about violence glorifies it and worse yet tries to make Chloe Moretz into a sex symbol. She's not and shouldn't be portrayed this way. The filmmakers should be ashamed of themselves for this dreck.

7. Lords of Salem - I am a fan of Rob Zombie. I loved House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects. So I was surprised when I went to see this film and it turned out to be a recruiting video for Satan. It is well made but too real for my tastes. This film just unnerved me.

6. Oldboy - I never saw the original this Spike Lee remake is based on but I'm certain anyone who did would not want to see this. Lee has never been strong on plot, he's good at characters, but in order for this film to work there needed to be a strong plot and a driving narrative focus and Lee was not up to the task.

5. Evil Dead - This new breed of Horror film needs to die in my opinion. The best Horror films work when we feel for the characters and not root for their deaths. I have no interest in watching Torture porn.

4. Fast and Furious 6 - It never ceases to amaze me what the general public will eat up in their attempt to be mindlessly entertained. There is not a shred of intelligence or style or originality permeating through this.

3. Spring Breakers - An ugly looking film with morally vacuous characters about 4 girls who at the drop of a whim decide to lie cheat steal rob murder and sell drugs and not necessarily in that order. They are despicable people who do despicable things and the director tries to make it look cool. He failed.

2. R.I.P.D. - It's not shocking to me that a movie starring Ryan Reynolds would be one of the years worst especially since every time he makes a film there is a good chance that will happen. What is shocking is that Jeff Bridges signed up for this drivel ripped off from Men in Black and possessing about as much charm as a plane crash. Don't watch this, seriously, don't watch this!

1. Only God Forgives - It is said that Man is an unforgiving species and only God forgives. Well, I am curious if God would forgive this. Starring Ryan Gosling, an actor I love, this hyper stylized, ultra violent orgy of meaningless violence and sex is one of the most stupefyingly bad movies I have ever seen and earns the title of the Worst Film of 2013.

No comments:

Post a Comment