This movie would scare even Satan - The Lords of Salem - My Review

The Lords of Salem  -  2013  -  Directed by Rob Zombie

This movie would scare even Satan. For the record that is not my line. I went to see this with my step son and his wife and that is how she described it. I agree. I think Satan would love the movie though as it plays like a recruiting video for him.

Sheri Moon Zombie stars as Heidi, a local radio DJ who lives a rather nondescript life. She works and then comes home and feeds her dog and then hits repeat. One day she notices someone standing in the doorway of an apartment and asks her landlady who the new tenant is. She finds out the apartment is vacant still. This scene bothered me but I will get back to it.

Heidi heads to work and while interviewing a local writer, Bruce Davison, about the witches of Salem, she receives a gift in the mail. It is a vinyl record by The Lords. Since they live in Salem, they dub them The Lords of Salem. When they play the record, Heidi and the other women residents of Salem begin to act like they are in a trance. It all traces back to 6 witches burned at the stake who unleashed a curse on the bloodline of Salem.

Heidi's life begins to spiral out of control as she begins hallucinating and a couple of friends believe she is back on drugs. Heidi would love if this was just drugs. Instead, she is having some of the most disturbing dreams imaginable. At one point she walks into the abandoned apartment and leave it to Zombie to make a neon cross so sinister that I felt the need to look away.

Is Heidi imagining all this or did The Lords of Salem return? She sees someone in the apartment before she receives the record. How is this possible or was the record just to send her over the edge? I don't know but this film is a descent into hell that was unsettling at best to watch.

I greatly enjoyed two previous films of Rob Zombie, House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects. They were well made and in fact so is this one and ironically that is a major problem I have with this film. It is too well made. It just seems to damn real and this subject matter is not something I enjoy watching.

When I was walking out of the theater with my step son and his wife she said the only thing that could of made the movie worse was if Heidi had woke up and we realized it was all just a dream. I wish I had woke up from a dream and realized I hadn't actually seen this.

Rating: 3 out of 10