My List of The Top Ten Worst Signers in Hollywood 2013

Welcome to my 3rd Annual list of the worst signers in Hollywood!

Let me preface this list, my list, by saying that not everyone who does what I do always shares the same opinion on who is and who is not a great signer. This list comes from my experiences and mine alone so without further hesitation here goes:

#10 - Jennifer Lawrence - You cant see who J-Law is looking at in this picture but I assure you it is graphers asking for her autograph! She is so tough now that when I see her I just assume she won't sign. It's easier on me that way!

#9 - Ellie Kemper - When I think about a cast of a movie that gives me nightmares, Bridesmaids is at the top of the list. Ellie. like most of the girls in that movie, is a hard autograph to get. Its hard to believe someone who smiles as much as she does could always be in a bad mood when it comes to signing autographs.

#8 - Jesse Spencer - This is one I can't let go. There was a time when Jesse was a sure thing, he would sign, take pics, and sign some more. Not anymore. If he tells you he will be back to sign later, don't trust him.

#7 - Johnny Depp - This one stings. I hate putting Johnny on this list but I had to. Thats what happens when you act the way Johnny did this year to fans. At one event has his security tell everyone he will sign on way out and then he sneaks out. At another event he tells everyone he will sign on way out, hundreds of fans wait many hours and then he bolts out. He would appear so nice on way in and then break your heart on way out. I certainly hope this was an aberration.

#6 - Vince Vaughn - Arrogance personified, there is no way you like Vince as much as he likes himself. Consider it a gift from the Gods if he signs for you. Most likely he will walk by and shake your hand and touch you and make all your problems go away with his magical powers.

#5 - Val Kilmer - Rude, bitter, insulting, berating, belittling. These are just a few words that come to mind when I think of Val Kilmer. He deserves his spot on this list.

#4 - Tobey Maguire - I would love to know the last time this guy actually picked up a sharpie and signed. One of the most impossible graphs to obtain in Hollywood. Chill out Tobey, its only an autograph.

#3 - Adele Exarchopoulos - Two of the worst graphing experiences I've had all year were with dealing with this woman. Want to see hear instantly change moods? Ask for an autograph. I value my time to much to keep wasting it on trying to get her to sign

#2 - Alison Pill - Seen her multiple times one on one and wouldn't sign for me. One time she ran across the street through traffic when I asked for an autograph. Paid to go to a Q&A to meet her and before I could even ask her to sign she had bolted out the door. I have a Newsroom cast shot that I am convinced will never get done. I am positive when she was a child someone stabbed her and beat her with a sharpie as that is how much she seems to hate them.

#1 - Bruce Willis - This is real life. No 4 words spoken to me by a celebrity this year were quite as memorable as the words Bruce spoke at the Red 2 premiere. Can I get an autograph Bruce? "This is Real life" Can I get a picture with you Bruce? "This is Real Life" That was his response to everything. The way he acted you would of thought he just saved all of mankind for real. It was the most pompous, arrogant and egotistical display I've ever seen by a celebrity. He would be on my list of the Worst Signers of All Time.

Let's Go Fly a Kite Indeed! My Review of Saving Mr. Banks

Saving Mr. Banks  -  2013  -  Directed by John Lee Hancock.

Every time I see a movie based on a true story or an individual's life I always wonder how did they feel about their life being forever cemented in film and how did they feel about the finished product? Saving Mr Banks gave me a glimpse into that and it was a marvelous 2 hours.

Emma Thompson stars as author P. L. Travers, a stoic, rigid woman who's past greatly affects her present and hinders her future. For 20 years she has resisted selling the rights to Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) but now with looming money issues she has agreed to meet him in L.A. but of course only if she retains final script approval.

Upon arriving in L.A. she is taken to Disney studios where she meets the creative team tasked with bringing her story to life. Robert Sherman (B.J. Novak), Richard Sherman (Jason Schwartzmann) and Don DaGradi (Bradley Whitford) are all eager to collaborate with her but she keeps throwing up resistance. No animation allowed, costumes are off, buildings are too opulent, at one point she bans the color red from the movie. Then it hits them, Walt Disney doesn't own the rights yet.

Walt has promised his daughters he would make Mary Poppins into a movie and he promises Miss Travers he will honor her character if she will just trust him. She doesn't. He doesn't even realize who Mary Poppins came to save.

While the events at Disney are unfolding we are shown flashbacks to her life as a child growing up in Australia with her siblings and parents. While her Mother (Ruth Wilson) is always around she pays her no attention but her Father (Colin Farrell) recognizes a beauty and truth to her and spoils her with his affections. He is a simple man with little money and a alcohol problem. A decision she makes for him as he lays sick haunts her to her soul.

Both story lines are propelled forward by the talent of all involved. Minor characters are allowed to breath and shine while the story literally jumps off the screen whenever Miss Travers shows up. Emma Thompson gives a pitch perfect performance of a woman who never recovered from her childhood and struggles to forgive herself and let go. One of the best scenes in the film is when she comes alive while first hearing, "Let's Go Fly a Kite." It is a scene of pure magic.

I could squabble about the flashbacks, which I enjoyed just didn't like their placement at times, but I wont. There is simply too much hear to love. Saving Mr Banks is one of the best movies of the year.

Rating: 9 out of 10

American Hustle - My Review

American Hustle  -  2013  -  Directed by David O. Russell

Much has been made of the fact that David O. Russell's new film, based on the ABSCAM scandal of the 70's, resembles that of Martin Scorsese's classic, Goodfellas. I think stylistically it more resembles Boogie Nights. Regardless, one thing is for sure, it is no where near as good as either film.

The film centers on Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale), a small time con-man, who despite being married to Rosalyn Rosenfeld (Jennifer Lawrence), meets his muse in Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams), another not shy to scams, and they both pair up in love and business. All is going well for them until they meet Richie Dimaso (Bradley Cooper.)

Richie is FBI. Richie has just set them up and Sydney took the bait. She is on the hook facing jail time and he gets Sydney and Irving to agree to help him make a few busts and in return he will drop all charges. Problem is, Richie has aspirations. Big ones. And he's willing to do anything to achieve them. Irving correctly observes that jail would be better than dealing with Richie.

While the trio setup their first bust they stumble upon a big fish, Carmine Polito (Jeremy Renner), a Mayor looking to upgrade Atlantic City and pad his pockets. Irving is nervous and wants out. Sydney wants Irving to pay for not leaving his wife. Rosalyn wants 
Irving to pay for not leaving Sydney. Carmine wants to be loved by all and Richie wants to be boss. What could go wrong?

While it may not be the most original setup it still had promise but Director Russell throws it away in his attempt to mimic the style and look and feel of other films instead of creating something unique. 

Its as if someone tried to write a script to sound like David Mamet wrote it. To place the camera where Martin Scorsese would. To use music as Scorsese and Paul Thomas Anderson do. The whole thing feels like a rip off. When Layla started playing in Goodfellas, it evoked a feeling. The music that plays here is filling in for lack of story.

Its a shame cause all the actors brought their A game (except Renner who is woefully miscast.) Lawrence is great in minimal screen time and its no wonder why Irving fell for her and then fell out of love with her. Cooper evokes the sleaziness of his Richie who is one step away from being a con man himself. Bale removes all vanity and gives one of the best performances of his career. Amy Adams is a firecracker ready to go off and is a true revelation. This is her best work to date.

Russell has been on record stating he doesn't like plots, only characters. While a movie doesn't need a plot, it does need style. This film has neither. Considering the hype and the extraordinary performances, this is a big let down.

Rating: 5 out of 10

Bruce Dern of Django Unchained! Autographs! Photos!

In my never ending quest to get every shot of the movie Django signed, I ventured out to go for Bruce Dern and must say didn't have a good feeling at first! When we first saw him he was in a limo and when my friend asked him to sign he immediately rolled the window up! Then on way in and way out he didn't even look or acknowledge our existence! But, as he was pulling out he stopped and started signing and thanks to a friend I was able to get everything signed!

I now have Christoph Waltz, Omar Dorsey, Robert Carradine, Russ Tamblyn, Walton Goggins, Bruce Dern, Jonah Hill, Zoe Bell, Kerry Washington, Don Johnson, Jamie Foxx and Quentin Tarantino on this!

Madchen Amick of Damages and Witches of East End! Autographs! Photos!

I had never met Madchen (pronounced Made-chen) and honestly had never heard of her being out before so I thought I would give it a try and also wanted to add her to my Damages cast shot I've been working on. Well, I am happy to report she was super nice and signed and took pics and it was quite the pleasure meeting her!

I now have Madchen, Lily Tomlin and Ted Danson on this.

Victoria's Secret Model Candice Swanepoel! Photos!

Candice was out recently so I foolishly thought I would go and get an autograph (as she is a tough autograph "get" right now) and when she was done filming a TV spot she came over and signed like 3 and then had had enough and was gone! No luck for me on this day!

Meeting Christina Aguilera of The Voice! Photos!

I got word that Christina was going to be out recently so I headed on out and thankfully there weren't that many people there and she was nice enough to stop and sign autographs and take pics! As Ice Cube would say, It Was A Good Day!

Meeting Model Kathy Ireland! Photos!

I had never met Kathy before and was excited to meet her as I remember all her photos from the 90's and she was nice enough to sign and take pictures with everyone though me and a friend did remark that it seemed like she was a little out of it! Not sure what it was but she didn't seem all there that night.

Meeting Shameless Star Emmy Rossum! Photos!

While doing an event recently I got a pleasant surprise when Emmy showed up and to make matters even better she was as nice as I have seen her in a long time and signed everything (when normally she is one each) and then took photo ops with everyone who asked!

Ted Danson of Saving Private Ryan! Autographs! Photos!

I started a cast piece of Damages that I already got Ted on so I figured it was about time I get him on Saving Private Ryan! He was out the other day and when I asked him to sign it he was kinda shocked and said no one ever asks him to sign this!

I now have Ted, Matt Damon, Tom Sizemore and Janusz Kaminski on this.